Igniting Light: The Power of Self-Perception and Everyday Wins

There is SO much power in self-perception.

Being aware of my own self-perception has truly transformed my journey, that's for sure.

“What the mind expects, it finds,” and that particular type of expectation will steer the ship when it comes to our purpose, confidence, and ultimately our “success.”

Ooof. Heavy, I know! 

But releasing expectations, embracing the path that we're on, and seeing ourselves in a positive light don’t always come easy—and that can be a real humdinger. Especially when it may seem so easy, so innate for others.

For example: my husband, an architect, knew in his teens that architecture was what he wanted to do as a career. And here he is, just a few ;) decades later, still finding so much satisfaction in his work. I’ve spent two of those decades alongside him, and for a very long time, I felt a twinge of envy at the steadiness of his unwavering path. 

Because it never came that easy to me.

What eventually occurred to me was that I viewed myself in a dimmer light. When I was working outside the home, my call center customer service-type jobs were never good enough. When I was at home full-time raising our kids, even with side hustles and hobbies, that was also not enough—I needed more. But more of what?!!

What I needed was a change of perspective, or I would self-destruct. Not only did I need to tweak my self-perception, but perhaps the QUALITY of my daily actions needed a tune-up, too.

"Your mind is a compass. Wherever your mind goes, your actions or reactions will ultimately take you." - Morgan Richard Olivier

Less Can Be More

When I was sick with Long Covid, it forced me to get very intentional with my energy and time. Physically, I did a lot less, and that period of rest gave me ample time to question how much of what I had been doing was truly benefitting my wellness. How much was actually helpful, and how often was I just blindly going through the motions on what I thought I should be doing?

The relentless fatigue naturally began weeding out things that were hurting my physical and mental health. I simply could not do them. With my body and mind pretty much checked out, I created strict boundaries and shielded myself from activities, media, situations, and people that I simply didn’t have the energetic space to hold. With that blank canvas, I devoted my time to discovering and engaging in what was more soothing to me.

Less hustle, more ease.

The more nourishing my actions were, the less I was willing to spend my energy doing anything that wasn’t filling my cup.

Not only did this feel more wholesome to my soul—it was calming my nervous system and restoring my body. Day by day, I continued to find more enthusiasm to pursue the actions that were lighting me up: journaling, EFT tapping, meditation, time in nature, reading, and online coursework and mentorship replaced the hours usually spent on social media scrolling or compulsive online shopping.

These new practices evolved into new daily habits, and as they provided more & more healing benefits and insight, they became more crave-able than any new outfit, Netflix binge, or social media scroll ever did. Don't get me wrong, my Netflix subscription isn't going anywhere, I still scroll from time to time, and I definitely have an Amazon order or ten...but they are no longer my go-to sources for dopamine hits and "feel goods."

“Often in the pursuit of quantity, we cheat ourselves of quality.” - DailyOm.com

Our Work does not Define our Worth

But here was another game changer: while increasing my mindful actions, self-reflection, and nervous system regulation, I began perceiving myself as WORTHY —NO MATTER WHAT I WAS DOING. In fact, after decades of NEVER finding self-worth in what I was doing, I began seeing worth and success even when doing absolutely nothing.

I realized that “success” was subjective, and my health, purpose, and peace were things no one else could define. In quitting the hustle game and adopting a much slower pace, the baseline of my nervous system became more regulated, and I stopped seeing every situation as a dumpster fire. My body became more relaxed, and I naturally began seeing clearer opportunities, more positive perspectives, and a whole lot of silver linings.

I learned the hard way that if we perceive our life as meaningless, unsuccessful, or unworthy, that’s exactly what it will be. If we begin seeing our actions (and ourselves) as valuable, no matter what they are, they become conduits for self-discovery, growth, and fulfillment.

“One fulfilling experience can eclipse many empty moments strung together.” - DailyOm.com

The Struggle is Real

Not gonna lie, some days there's more of a challenge to find a highlight from my day. Not because it was a bad day, but because the pace and the“wins” can seem so different.  Last week, my husband's win was a highly sought-after design project for his architecture firm, and mine…well….lol…honestly, one of my wins was getting a year’s worth of candle wax unstuck from a glass votive. This, of course, is an exaggeration: Raising kids, putting love and effort into maintaining our home, and sustaining my health and wellness is absolutely a win and worth celebrating, but, the reality is, at least for me, sometimes it gets hard not to compete and compare.

I guess that’s the real flex: seeing our true strength in the multitude of life's situations and scenarios.

Having self-trust and being our own champion regardless of the storyline.

When our self-perception grows stronger, our roots extend deeper and more robust.  This makes for a much more solid foundation, and as our perspective shines brighter, it takes a whole lot more to knock us off course.

Finding our self-worth—our light, in moments big and small, illuminates the way.

I would LOVE to hear how you are taking action toward nervous system regulation and creating ease and personal boundaries in your life. Please feel free to leave a comment below!